Its Review O’Clock: Evil Dead


Its been nearly two mouths since a blog post, and seeing as none of you have been asking for one, I thought I wouldnt deliver.

In the end I caved and wrote these 487 words on the Evil dead, enjoy.

Evil Dead

Judging this as a remake, it’s a masterpiece. Judging this as a film on its own, it’s still great.

This Re-jigging of Sam Rami’s cult classic “The” Evil Dead, see’s a group of teens go on a trip to a cabin in the woods (Groan!!!) to help their friend Mia go cold turkey. When one of them reads an evil book, all hell is unleashed as Mia turns into a succubus (and not the sexy type!)

While many may groan and grumble about the obvious troupes and clichés trodden (reading the evil book, cabin in the woods etc.) you must understand that the original evil dead started that cliché, in much the same way Star Wars invented the compacting room set piece. The classic Evil Dead is responsible for Cabin Fever, Cabin in the Woods and every crap horror film in-between. The mistake to be made hear (and I feel it will be made) is that this is simply steeling ideas, and while it’s doesn’t re-invent the wheel (leave that to Joss Weldon), it doesn’t set out to. Instead what you get is a well made, well balanced mixture of gross out gore and fulfilling scares.

While some characters are simply too weak, I’m looking at you Black female nerd and Blondie, the rest are nicely carved. Jane Levy steals the show in both her crack addict and her blistered daemon form, while she is NO ash, she isn’t supposed to be, she could quite easily be if we got the chance to have some more sequel style slapstick (I was really hoping a time hole would open up and suck Mia back to the medieval days, even though I knew it wouldn’t happen).

If you get the chance see this in a packed audience or a least with a large group of mates, it really is a reaction film, half of the joy is watching the weak cower and the powerful cheer as they blood goes a flying. A boy does it fly, the gore is really the reason to write home, it’s full on but for some reason it works. I don’t like torture porn one bit, I can’t stand the Hostel’s or the Saw’s but when it comes to the evil dead it works, it really is revolting and scary, but there is a camp fun too it, a joy that modern gore doesn’t often possess. It will likely be something lost on some audience’s who will simply see it as another in a long line of bloody horror films (whether that’s a good thing to them or not). The rest of us though, us Campbell lovers, us fangoria readers, fright night festers or general horror fans will now that this is something special.

Evil Dead is Bloody, bloody brilliance and although it’s not the classic, and it might not become a classic, it’s still worthy of baring the Evil Dead name.

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Its Review O’Clock: Warm Bodies

Warm Bodies, must have been hard to market. The first poster was a Twlight-lite image of a Zombie and a girl embraced. Then the trailer got released and it seemed the first poster was a misstep, what the trailer showed us was a clever knockabout comedy with an element of romance.  So when I stepped into screen six of the local Odeon I didn’t really know what to expect. I was hoping for the comedy version (we really don’t need another twilight) and although that’s not really what we got, I still liked what I saw.

Warm Bodies

Warm Bodies is the story of the aftermath of a zombie epidemic, R (our zombie) encounters Julie (a human survivor), and rescues her from a zombie attack. Julie sees that R is different from the other zombies, and as the two form a special relationship in their struggle for survival, R becomes increasingly more human – setting off an exciting, romantic, and often comical chain of events.

Director Jonathan Levine (50/50 and The Wackness) uses his experience in making on-screen romance not seem to Soppy to turn a slightly bad taste in the mouth plot wise into a funny and tender relationship. The real success in Levine’s job is that the film is exceptionally funny without sacrificing emotional engagement for cheap laughs.

What I won’t say is that it isn’t Twilight-ish. It seems stupid to not point out the comparisons, both are based on best selling teen novels about supernatural beings falling in love with beautiful girls. Although the comparisons are clear to see, they never prove a problem. Warm Bodies doesn’t feel like a cheap pile of crap, it isn’t a Po-faced, sullen-cullen mope-fest. And most importantly it embraces its context, it seems to revel in the fact that it’s a zombie film, unlike Twilight, it doesn’t feel a need to piss all over the mythology of its hero.

The whole film is rather endearing, Nicholas Hoult does a great job, being life to the undead and another special mention goes’ to Rob Corddry who for the first time I really enjoyed on screen.

Falling somewhere between Zombieland and the skewed romance of (500) Days Of Summer, this managed to make the end of the world seem charming. Over all Warm Bodies is just that, Warm.

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Its Review O’Clock: Django Unchained

Recently I have grown tired of Tarantino.

This is not to say I don’t like his work, but I feel he has simply lost his way, Everything after Kill Bill Vol 2 Has been overlong, bloated and self indulgent. That’s not to say he is isn’t a smart writer/director who knows what he is talking about, because he is, But I often feel he needs to have an editor stand over his shoulder to tell him this film can’t be any longer than 2 hours. If this was to happen I would be much happy to jump on the QT band wagon.

Django Unchained poster

During the first two hours of Django I was fully on the unchained express all the way to finale town, because we had a witty tension filled film. In Django Quentin is being his most fun and enjoyable since the first Kill Bill. The writing is fantastic providing some real juicy dialogue for all involved (but a shout out must go to Waltz and Jackson who steal the show) the film is stylistically directed paying tribute to grind house cinema without resorting to the normal self contractually crap we saw in Death Proof. Django is two hours of fantastic gripping well made joy, with half an hour of crap tagged on the end.

The minute the film takes it noise dive is during QT’s now legendary cameos, attempting an Australia accent but managing to sound more cockney than Dick Van Dyke ever did, Quentin’s role marks where the film noise dives. I will try not to spoil things from now one so excuse the strange lack of context. We get the ending we need, Django gets his prize so to speak, and just as you think the credits will role, where the negative should be cut and we get another half hour of slightly pointless dilemma. It’s a massive shame because this is what I left the cinema with, another slightly overlong Tarantino film.

Don’t get me wrong it’s great and well worth a watch, but he shoots himself in the foot towards to the end.

Don’t worry Classic QT I’m sure we will meet again.

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Its Review O’Clock: Les Misérables

When I sat down for Les Misérables the multimillion dollar film adaption of the world wide musical success I was unsure of how the audience would react. I had heard many concerning tales from screenings in American, where the film came out just before Christmas, that the showings had been plagued with people singing along and clapping every ten blooming seconds. Now I’m a bit of a cinema Nazi (if there is such as thing) so the prospect of sitting in an opening weekend screening of the film that every musical theatre fan has been masturbating over for the last year seemed like a bad idea.


While there was a little bit of chatter from the audience in the first twenty minutes, the second I dreamed a dream hit the screen, everyone fell silent. It would have felt rude to clap or talk or sing after watching possibly the best performance of the year. In the space of three gloriously sincere, heartfelt minutes, the scene confirms Tom Hooper as a director capable of great things and Hathaway as one of the best actors of her generation. Hopper simply points the camera at Hathaway and lets her stark and bleak performance do all the talking. It is beautiful.


When the Les Mis team inevitably take the stage at the Kodak Theatre in February to pick up their Best Picture statuette (seriously, they might as well start engraving it now). I will sit there and think of nothing but that scene.

The film is not perfect in anyway, it feels slightly over long, but it’s a good thing that I have only said “slightly” seeing that it runs at 157 minutes. It could do with having trimmed out the new song, one that was created just for the film. I call it the new song, because I have no bloody idea what it’s called, seeing as it went in one ear and out the other. The new song really is just there so they can get there Oscar nod for best original song.

Along with Hathaway the rest of the cast is on top form, managing to grasp the gritty and un-jazz handy nature of the production. The only true weak link is Russell Crowe who doesn’t do a bad job, but simply feels out of place in this musical, almost as if he is too good a singer? One that would fit better in Rock of ages.

I sit here over 24 hours later, watching Come dine with writing this review and the one thing I can’t help but shake over 24 hours after the film is Hathaway. I know I sound like a broken record but she really is good! I mean REALLY good.

I originally wrote this review for Dorset Eye you can view it on there in all its unedited and slightly rushed joy, complete with spelling mistakes.

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Golden Globe-along

globesLets get this rolling!

23:18 pm – So after almost 20 minutes of faffing about I have found a live stream of some of the red carpet! Good times!

23:19 pm – Fuck nuggets its gone!

23:27 pm – Oh my lord, the stream I have found is mental,  follow it here. PopSugar TV don’t have any hosts at the Red carpet, yet are showing red carpet by showing people watching a live stream of E!


23:32 pm – Come back in the morning when I will watch some high lights on You Tube and put them on here, or something!

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So you what me to share the experience! WELL HERE WE GO!

Last week I went to see Ang Lee’s Boat-palooza Life of Pi. First things first its ace. If I hadn’t already made the Films of 2012 list it would have skyrocketed into the top five.

It’s beautiful and charming and clever and entertaining, for a film that deals with existentialism it has a hell of a lot of fun. The story of a boy in a boat with a tiger is not one that you immediately goes hand in hand with “THE MOVIES” but it’s more MOVIE than most movies. I feel the need to say the word movie some more, so here we go! Life of pi is a movie that perfectly balances the large scale Movie going experience and the small detailed life of the movie’s title perfectly.

As with all blog posts of mine, I need to have a rant at something so here we go!

As I sat down to watch Life of Pi, I nestled into my super expensive chicken coup, and looked up at the screen to see the traditional Black BBFC title card. This counts as the begging of the movie (Don’t run away now, it’s not a rant about people using phones! Trust me!) This is when the movie starts, but oh no! OHHHH NNOOOO!

Instead I watched another advert! For the movie Life of Pi, it wasn’t encouraging me to watch the film, see I already was! It was telling me to “Share the experience”. Share the Experience! SHARE THE EXPERIENCE! It then flashed this on screen.



I am trying really hard to not smash my keyboard up while typing this! BY SITTING IN THE CINEMA! I AM SHARING THE EXPERIENCE  We do not need to encourage people to tweet during a movie! We really don’t, people are fucking rude enough to do it all of their own backs if they want to. It’s not an episode of The only way is Essex, can you picture going to the movies and having to watch An Oscar Nominated film with the Hash tag on the screen!


Its annoyed me to such a degree I refuse to tweet about it! I would have most likely raved about the film on tweeter but this blatant piece of douche-bagery  has put me of doing nothing of the sort.

Its douchey because its in the film, its not during the adverts at the start its part of the movie, built into the digital hard copy of the film!

Its not even waiting until the film has finished its asking me to promote the film during the film!

I just….. I…..I…..ARGH!

I’m finding it hard to finish this blog post off.

So there!

P.s. This is post number 200, so well done me!

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We are only one day in but I’m making a bold statement about 2013.

Charlie Brooker’s 2012 wipe is the best show of the year.

Here is a link to it on I Player, seeing as I cant embed. It you will just have to pretend you can watch it here with this screenshot.


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