The Illness games

I think at points in our sad little lives of this spinning bolder we call earth, we all want to feel more needy than we are. We are needy creatures anyway, we always want service or help in the form of burgers, blockbuster bonus points or blowjobs, we always want things all the time. But one thing we don’t normally come across is care, yes we get care from mum’s and dad’s and brother’s and sister’s and if your lucky enough from lovers. But there is something about receiving care from random people that makes us feel truly loved.

This is why as developed apes we love to be ill. When we get taken down with the flu we get waited on by hand and foot not only by the ones we love but also doctors, nurses and G.P’s.

But what happens when you are not ill, but you still lust that attention and crave the needs to be waited for, you star to play little game’s. there are two illness games one can play.

1. MAN/WOMAN FLU

We all from time to time feel like shit, even if we don’t need medical help,pills or potions we still feel like crap so we play the man flu card and take the day off and sit on the sofa if you have someone to look after its fantastic, although you do have to be a good actor to pull this one-off as you need to keep up with the fake sniffles and coughs all day and this can take a lot of work, it can really drain you out on you day of respite. If you are a lone ranger in the world that’s also great all you have to do is pretend while on the phone to the boss and then spend the day watching Trisha (is that show still on?).

2. HPYOCHONDRIA

NHS direct will be the end of us a swear as we have all spent too much time on that website after we have found something weird, a crick in the neck or a funny rash on the leg. In my case ever so often my middle finger on my right hand will twitch and spasm for no real reason, I don’t spend all my time typing and it just comes and go from day-to-day I can go for months without it happening. So when it does pop back I go straight to the website shouting and the top of my voice “IM FUCKING DYEING, IM FUCKING DEAD” I type in the symptoms and I ignore the top result that tells me I have a harmless trapped nerve and had straight to the bottom of the page where it says I have been having a STROKE for the last 4 years or that I have or that I have Parkinson’s a horrible disease to have. This send me into a state of panic for about five minutes before i realise im being stupid.

I have never checked this finger twitch out and I really should. I can see why hypochondriac’s are as they are, it is great to get that random care from a stranger that we love to have. I have to say im not sure being a hypochondriac is for me I can’t do doctors at all. I fear they are all gonna ask me to get my cock and out and then tell me I have a high blood pressure. I just don’t trust them.

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About lammpost911

A Man who has nothing better to do that join all the social networking sites and talk shit.
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